Outings Report

July: President’s Day and Pointscore Round 2: Wivenhoe Dam

Ze Great Saxon Assault on Vivenhoe

A Chronicle of ze Monaro Club of Queensland

(with a great degree of fiction but based on actual real life) No warriors or vessels were injured in this campaign, only Oxen, Swine and bounty from Mother Earth.

In ze 40th Year of our Vessels, ven ze sun rose over ze lands of Queensland, a mighty fleet of Monaros set forth — not merely for a picnic, nein, but for a glorious Saxon‑style landing upon ze storied lake of Vivenhoe.

From ze far reaches of ze realm, 33 gleaming Monaro and Affiliate Vessels gathered like raiding‑bands preparing for conquest. Zey rolled forth in formation, engines roaring like ze thunder of Woden himself. Inside zem came 55 hungry warriors, eager for feast, contest, and glory.

Ze journey to Vivenhoe vas long and winding with Charybdises and Maelstroms — a trek reminiscent of ze Saxon landing in Britannia in 449 AD, vhen Hengest and Horsa the legendary Germanic Brothers first set foot upon ze shores. Only zis time, ve carried sausages and forks instead of spears and axe.

As ve approached ze lake, ze waters shimmered like ze North Sea at dawn. Our convoy descended upon ze lake viz ze determination of ancient raiders. Bonnets rose, banners fluttered, and ze smell of cooking meat drifted across ze Pointscore battlefield.

Ze behind‑ze‑scenes heroes — ze camp stewards — had already secured ze landing zone, prepared ze feast, and ensured no warrior accidentally backed into ze sacred waters.

Ze pointscore competition vas held like a Saxon trial by ordeal. Judges strode among ze chariots, inspecting paintwork, shine, and craftsmanship as if choosing steeds for battle. Owners stood proudly beside their machines, polishing and muttering ancient incantations like:

“By ze glory of Wivenhoe, zis spot vill shine!”

Next came ze quiz game — a contest of knowledge worthy of ze mead‑hall. Warriors gathered in circles, shouting answers, arguing over dates, and occasionally inventing entire sagas to justify their guesses.

One clan insisted ze first Monaro vas a Ford forged by Saxon smiths. Ve did not correct zem. It vas very interesting but shtupid.

Ze lucky door prize vas drawn like a sacred rune. Gold coins were gathered like tributes to the Gods.Vhen ze winning number vas called, ze victorious warrior leapt up viz such joy zat even ze ravens circling above took notice. Ze prize vas claimed, displayed, and admired like a relic from ze old kingdoms.

Ze Raffles game of chance vas held like a Saxon Mead Hall ordeal by fire. Warriors roared at results claiming re-draw re-draw when the winners were slow to shout their claim. Eventually the winners stashed their booty and fled to the anonymity of the crowd to cherish their newfound wealth and treasures.

Ah, ze Feast! Fit for Saxons after a long voyage. Sausages sizzled, onions browned, burgers flipped, bacon crisped and sweets tempted even ze sternest warriors. Ze smoke rose into ze sky like beacon‑fires calling distant tribes to join ze revelry. Free drinks were quaffed at leasure.

Zis year’s President’s Choice vas awarded to Monaro Members so valiant, so noble zat even ze ducks upon ze lake paused in reverence. Allas their absence for reasons more secret due to previous campaigns in progress ze awards were accepted wiz honour and pride by the Saxon Chieftain ze President.

With speeches completed and records taken thus ended ze great Saxon‑Monaro landing at Vivenhoe — a day of glory, camaraderie, contests, and feasting. Ve came as raiders, ve left as legends. And next year, ve shall return — stronger, louder, hungrier, and ready for another glorious assault upon ze lake.

Cast;

• Njall the Iron‑Quill
• Destrik the Spear‑True
• Jógrím & Særhild, Keepers of the Ember‑Hall
• Símund Fire‑Mane
• Petur the Forge‑Hand
• Tómar the Broad‑Stride
• Kéttar & Janna Brinnars, Shield‑Wardens of the Stone Road
• Kelvar the Ice‑Steady
• Kára Grendís, Rune‑Reader of the Frostmark
• Shanr the Horse‑Lord
• Noni Skeld‑Moyrr Shield singer
• Alistarr Møyrr, Storm‑Caller of the Whale Coast
• Bjørn the Broad‑Backed & Narellja Storm‑Singer
• Darrul the Hearth‑Guard & Judhild Ember‑Weaver
• Tóni Iron‑Howl & Kæja Wolf‑Heart
• Patrek the Oath‑Steady & Jæna Frost‑Bloom
• Varin Stone‑Hammer & Donnara Shield‑Bright
• Jónn Glad‑Hand the Generous & Lindra Rune‑Keeper
• Kragni the Keen‑Eyed
• Stívar Luck‑Bound & Leanna Gold‑Tressed
• Vagn Hjartar, Rune‑Reader of the Northern Stones
• Jódís Dufvar, Storm‑Weaver of the Fjord
• Geiri & Janna Sumarsson, Hearth‑Wardens of Sumarstead
• Brettr Rígbi, Axe‑Singer of the Wolf Road
• Kalvinn & Nóarr Pjarsen, Line‑Guardians of the Iron Fjord
• Nóell Príkr, Frost‑Seer of the White Moon
• Sturvar & Jóna Hrossel, Shield‑Binders of the Horsemark
• Geiri Lársson & Láza, Hall‑Keepers of Lársholm
• Hróðni Kíhnar, Spear‑Singer of the Broken Tide
• Páll Bjarnisson & Félagi, Road‑Brothers of the Raven Trail
• Málkómr & Maralind Kenni, Flame‑Wardens of the Ember Tor
• Jónn & Lórétt Móyar, Wave‑Keepers of the Salt Sea
• Geofarr Húdi, Wolf‑Friend of the Night Road
• Glennar & Lýnetta Fullr, Mead‑Makers of Fullrstead
• Fransína Prítgard, Sea‑Seer of the Silver Shoal
• Kássa & Térri Póstr, Torch‑Bearers of the Ember Road
• Absent President’s Choice
• Áðam & Patrik Wárskov, Hammer‑Bearers of the Iron Trail
• Róbin Kæna, Sky‑Watcher of the High Tor

Pat MacDonald (Sparkles)
Outings Coordinator

 

July: Jumpers & Jazz Grand Automobile Display: Warwick

Hello Trekkies,

Day 1 — Deployment to Warwick Colony

The Monaro Club of Queensland launched its annual July mission with a convoy of five starship‑designated vehicles departing Goodna Macca’s Outpost. The destination: Warwick Colony, host of the Jumpers & Jazz Grand Automobile Display, attracting between 8,000 and 10,000 Federation citizens. A perfect opportunity to showcase the engineering excellence of the Monaro Fleet.

The convoy formed up with textbook Starfleet precision. The Lead Car, designated USS Enterprise, initiated departure protocols. The Sweeper Car, USS Phoenix, monitored mid‑fleet cohesion, while Tail End Charlie, USS Kyushu, maintained rear‑sector security. As engines warmed, Scotty’s familiar voice echoed in every officer’s imagination: “She canna take any mor, Cap’n!” But she did — every Monaro hummed like a warp core at idle.

Transit through Cunningham’s Gap Nebula was spectacular. Clear skies shimmered like ionised particles, and the ascent felt like climbing toward a starbase docking ring. Sensors briefly detected a cloaking signature — likely a Romulan Bird‑of‑Prey observing the convoy. Shields were raised to twenty percent, purely precautionary.

Arrival at Warwick Centre Point Mid City Starbase was smooth. Officers disembarked, secured quarters, and conducted a quick supply recon. The evening meal became a cross‑quadrant banquet featuring Hasperat, Gagh, Jumja sticks, and Tube grubs. When one officer poked the Gagh and it wriggled, McCoy’s classic line surfaced: “It’s life, Jim, but not as we know it.”

A Ferengi attempted to negotiate payment for salads using slips of latinum, Targalan paper money, and “future profits.” The deal collapsed when Craig refused to accept any payment from a Ferengi.

Day 2 — Shore Leave & Sector Exploration

Reinforcements arrived overnight, bringing the fleet to 22 Officers, Cadets and partners. Breakfast at a local venue resembled a Federation mess hall, complete with Raktajino for those needing warp‑speed caffeine. One order contained the much maligned Extra Vulcan Pork.

Some officers travelled to Allora Outpost, a charming settlement ideal for diplomatic engagement. Others conducted reconnaissance at Morgan Park Raceway, where the roar of engines echoed like shuttlecraft launching from a starbase. A Klingon Vor’cha cruiser was detected in high orbit — likely observing the races with honourable curiosity.

Evening meals were scattered across Psycho Suzie’s Intergalactic Cantina, Klyngon Fried Carraboo Ration Depot, Impulse Pizza Station, and Babel-Fish & Chips Bay. Shields remained at minimal levels, though photon torpedoes were humorously declared “armed” in case Psycho Suzie’s ran out of their Earth Beer “Knocked Out” (IPA 6%).

Day 3 — The Grand Automobile Display

Sunday marked the primary mission objective. The Lye Family Unit deployed their Junior Dragsters — piloted by Cadets Xavier and Micky Lye — forming a ceremonial and deafening entrance reminiscent of shuttlecraft positioned before a Federation parade.

With 4,000 horsepower on display, the Monaro Fleet reinforced Warwick Colony’s reputation as the Horsepower Capital of the Milky Way. Visitors admired the Monaros like newly discovered starships. A Romulan Warbird briefly decloaked above the colony, perhaps impressed by the engineering. Phasers were set to stun just in case.

Although the crew did not win the 500‑credit raffle, they occupied an entire street, showcasing ten Monaro‑class vessels. The afternoon concluded with drinks, laughter, and tales of Alien Encounters. Someone joked that if a Borg Cube appeared, they’d offer the stubborn 350 engine in Craig’s starship as a peace offering.

Day 4 — Return Voyage

Monday began with breakfast and preparations for departure. Minor incidents included two low‑pressure Dylithium Crystal tyres and one stubborn 350 Matter/Anti-Matter warp engine that triggered an Engineering Red Alert. Scotty’s voice echoed again: “Cap’n, I’m givin’ her all she’s got!” Eventually, she started.

The fleet returned home in smaller warp groups, each vessel performing admirably. The mission was declared a complete success.

The Future

Next year’s expedition is already planned, with extra rooms booked and a Christmas in July feast scheduled. Shields will be up, photon torpedoes armed, and spirits high. As always, this event does not disappoint.

Pat MacDonald (Sparkles)
Outings Coordinator